1. Rescue an animal. I suggest you make it a cockroach.
2. Keep it in the library. I suggest you keep it in my lockable drawer
3. Give it an adorable, library-related name. It doesn't have to be all that witty. I suggest "Elsie" for LC classification, "Reggie" or "Harpo" for the libraries, or if it has a baby, "Cage" and "Mini-cage." Whatever, that wasn't funny at all, but it doesn't have to be. Who will care after step 4?
4. Sell the rights to said cockroach's life story for $1.25 million dollars. If it worked in Iowa, it should work it Chicago!
Who's with me?
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